Pandemic Panic
So, I'd like to preface this post with a disclaimer... I have anxiety. I have been an anxious person for as long as I can remember. I take medication to help function through my anxiety, and I am grateful for modern medicine so I can be a positive, productive contributor to society.
Recently, a global pandemic has increased my feelings of panic, depression, anxiety, and helplessness. The coronavirus has been spreading across the world so quickly, and many people aren't taking it seriously. Of course, that simply exacerbates the problems, which means this quarantine and shelter-at-home mandate for Pennsylvania (and other places) will go on for longer than I can tolerate.
But, I am healthy. My family is healthy. We have food, clean water, the ability to wash our clothes without leaving the house, cars to use if necessary, gloves to wear at the grocery store, and technology to allow us to maintain a sense of "normalcy" in our daily routines of school and work. Then, what for the love of god, is my problem!?!?
Oh, there's where that anxiety comes into play. Darn it!
I am doing my best to be patient, calm, and supportive. I am doing my best to help Ethan feel successful at this new version of "school". I am trying to give Mike his space and disrupt his work flow as little as possible. I am working diligently to move my lesson plans to an online format so my awesome students can progress through their course work at a reasonable pace. Man, I really miss my students... I am doing my best to pause, breathe, and relax. But lately, those breaths feel strained and really difficult to take.
As an optimist, I usually find the good among the challenges I face. And, I am able to do that with this pandemic. But, there is sooooo much outside of my control, your control, the government's control, anyone's control. And that scares me. It scares me into moments of tearful consideration that "normal" might not be "normal" again. And maybe that's ok. But, the awful things happening around the world right now are not ok. The terrible illness and unnecessary deaths because of this virus make me so sad... so frustrated that there are people ignoring medical professionals and infectious disease specialists... so confused about people's choices to travel and have play dates and (aaaahhhh) all the things!
But, I digress.
I am reading so many positive messages on social media right now, and that lifts my spirits. My favorite reminder today is "Our current situation is not our final destination. It is a bruise, not a tattoo. Respond accordingly." I am trying so hard to respond to this as a temporary bruise and not let this pandemic panic tattoo my soul. I need to make this my mantra, perhaps, as a way to supplement my anxiety medication. Yes, that's what I'll do. Pause, breathe, speak my new mantra, and be sure as heck to take that pill every day!
Recently, a global pandemic has increased my feelings of panic, depression, anxiety, and helplessness. The coronavirus has been spreading across the world so quickly, and many people aren't taking it seriously. Of course, that simply exacerbates the problems, which means this quarantine and shelter-at-home mandate for Pennsylvania (and other places) will go on for longer than I can tolerate.
But, I am healthy. My family is healthy. We have food, clean water, the ability to wash our clothes without leaving the house, cars to use if necessary, gloves to wear at the grocery store, and technology to allow us to maintain a sense of "normalcy" in our daily routines of school and work. Then, what for the love of god, is my problem!?!?
Oh, there's where that anxiety comes into play. Darn it!
I am doing my best to be patient, calm, and supportive. I am doing my best to help Ethan feel successful at this new version of "school". I am trying to give Mike his space and disrupt his work flow as little as possible. I am working diligently to move my lesson plans to an online format so my awesome students can progress through their course work at a reasonable pace. Man, I really miss my students... I am doing my best to pause, breathe, and relax. But lately, those breaths feel strained and really difficult to take.
As an optimist, I usually find the good among the challenges I face. And, I am able to do that with this pandemic. But, there is sooooo much outside of my control, your control, the government's control, anyone's control. And that scares me. It scares me into moments of tearful consideration that "normal" might not be "normal" again. And maybe that's ok. But, the awful things happening around the world right now are not ok. The terrible illness and unnecessary deaths because of this virus make me so sad... so frustrated that there are people ignoring medical professionals and infectious disease specialists... so confused about people's choices to travel and have play dates and (aaaahhhh) all the things!
But, I digress.
I am reading so many positive messages on social media right now, and that lifts my spirits. My favorite reminder today is "Our current situation is not our final destination. It is a bruise, not a tattoo. Respond accordingly." I am trying so hard to respond to this as a temporary bruise and not let this pandemic panic tattoo my soul. I need to make this my mantra, perhaps, as a way to supplement my anxiety medication. Yes, that's what I'll do. Pause, breathe, speak my new mantra, and be sure as heck to take that pill every day!
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